Ads - bad and dangerous to know?

Here's a modern moral dilemma: if Lloyds TSB actually manage to take over HBOS, should I stop banking with them? You see, Lloyds would then effectively own the Halifax and all their attendant advertising, with the all singing, all dancing staff and Howard crooning about interest rates. The Lloyds adverts are quite good, with their kooky music, distinctive animations and intelligently cool slogan "For the Journey". Looking at the Halifax ones makes me think of corporate team building days gone mad. They fill me with dread rather than the overwhelming urge to invest.

Years ago the husband-to-be and I started a boycott against Tropicana orange juice on the basis of a dodgy advertising campaign. I think it involved singing parrots and it didn't even fall into the "so bad it's good" category. Currently I'm glad that I have good enough eyes to avoid Specsavers, on account of their wanton abuse of the late Edith Piaf. The poor woman had a difficult enough life, without having her latent talent used to flog a two-for-one glasses offer from beyond the grave. Then there are the current crop of commercials for Orange mobile phones, where various people tell us: "I am my mum, I am my best friend, I am my favourite cheese..." and so on. They bring out my cynical side and I think they really should be saying: "I am what this clever scriptwriter told me to say I am." They're all just pretending, however true the statements they're making may be. It's all about created authenticity and stylised identities, which taints the product somewhat in my mind.

There is the argument that there is no such thing as bad publicity and if reading me have a moan about a few firms has made you want to rush out and buy their stuff then fair enough. The ad agencies involved can congratulate themselves on creating phenomenal brand awareness in the online sector (see my previous post about Absolute Radio for a further discussion of these issues). However, if an ad is supposed to be trying to make me want to purchase something, surely it should hold my interest, not make me want to switch off the television. This is even more important in the age of the digital P.V.R. and Sky Plus, where you can record your favourite shows and skip through the commercial breaks at the touch of a button.

So what makes a memorably good advert? Things that are slightly off the wall but not too self consciously madcap seem to work best. Remember the Cadbury's gorilla playing the drums last year? He became must see t.v. in his own right, with people seeking him out on the internet so they could view him whenever they wanted. The same was true of Johnny Vegas and his woolly mun-keh sidekick when they made a comeback after the I.T.V. digital debacle to advertise P.G. Tips. Going back a long while, I still have fond memories of the British Gas privatisation campaign, "If you see Sid, tell him." It was indirect, far from glamourous and certainly not slick, but even now I haven't forgotten it. It didn't sell me many British Gas shares, because I was in primary school, but it was still good. I also find myself mourning the sad demise of the man from Del Monte. He may have had an unpleasant, lingering whiff of colonialism about him, but he did have a strong positive attitude. And lovely tinned peaches.

Looking back over a life spent bombarded by advertising reveals a lot. Iconic humour will sell a product, but creating icons is far from easy, which is why so many ads miss their mark. However hard he tries, Suggs from Madness will never be Captain Birdseye and a singing banker will never persuade me to take out a loan.