Musical Interludes

Well, it's all systems go on the wedding front. Given that nobody has objected to our union, we need to get planning in earnest. However, since my intended is still overseas, I find myself with all kinds of decisions to ponder all alone. One of the things that preoccupies my mind most is the choice of music for the ceremony. Music is important to both of us. Neither of us can hold a tune, but we're regular Prom goers each summer, habitual overspenders on iTunes and periodic doughball munchers at the Pizza Express on Dean Street. He likes heavy metal, I like more "alternative" modern stuff and we both like classical and jazz. So out of all that, how do we choose a few key pieces that reflect our relationship? Adding in the audience factor complicates the issue even further. Pleasing an eclectic mix of thirty-something friends, a few kids and relatives of somewhat more mature years is far from simple and I would hate for them all to be bored, repulsed or confused while they watch us getting married. Well, they might be all of those things anyway, but I don't want the music choices to make things worse.

If I dwell on approachable classical pieces, I inevitably err towards the jolly, rousing numbers that everybody knows. So while I should be thinking of the romance of a Rachmaninov piano concerto, my brain alights on the William Tell Overture or "In the Hall of the Mountain King". Searching for a way to bridge the gap between the classical and the popular, I tentatively searched online for tasteful piano or string arrangements of modern songs. There is a part of me that would love to walk down the aisle to "Under the Bridge" by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers, because we both like it, it's a good tune and it has a nice sentiment. As luck would have it, a string quartet recording of it does exist. Unfortunately it's on an album full of classically reimagined Chilli Peppers covers. Listening to samples of the others, I couldn't help thinking that the version of "Californication" came out rather better. Now clearly that's not appropriate for a wedding. When I appear in the full bridal get up, I don't want everyone dreaming of Californication. Herein lies a fundamental problem. For every song that is special to us or makes sense lyrically for a wedding, there is a matching one just around the corner that is entirely wrong. On the positive side, we have Blur's "To The End" or "Tender" (the latter particularly for the "get through it" refrain, since I fear being overwhelmed by emotion during the ceremony); "Gravity" by Embrace works ("It's been a long time coming... and I can't stop smiling...") as does "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls ("You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be and I don't want to go home right now...") and "Wild Horses" by the Rolling Stones. Negatively speaking, there are obvious faux pas - Elvis singing "Suspicious Minds", any of the myriad of versions of "D.I.V.O.R.C.E." and a personal favourite of mine: "Perfect Gentleman" by Wyclef Jean ("Just coz she dances go go, that don't make her a ho, no, call up my mama say I'm in love with a stripper, yo...") - but there are also more subtle dangers lurking. The mighty Kurt Elling, jazz behemoth, first recorded a beautiful version of "My Foolish Heart" to celebrate his own marriage. That's all very well, but the first line includes the words "...oh my heart, I'm reluctant to start, since we've been here before...", and the implication that my beloved and I may have tried and failed to marry previously, or may have married other people along the way, springs all to easily to mind.

As you can probably tell, I think far too deeply about these musical issues and my brain is apt to spin off at tangents with minimal provocation. So sometimes I dwell on the Irish heritage of my intended and think that it might be nice to make an entrance to a traditional tune from the emerald isle. The songs that I always think of, however, are "Whisky in the Jar" and the Irish rugby anthem "Ireland's Call". "Ireland's Call" is one of two songs that I find myself singing subconsciously in the shower with alarming regularity. The other one, as it happens, is "Rehab" - perhaps we could get our guests to join in a resounding chorus of "no, no, no" if we used that one in the ceremony! The husband to be is no stranger to the realm of the absurd and for his part often suggests Iron Maiden's "Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter" as a touching tribute to my mum, who will be giving me away.

Out of all this cavalcade of musical whimsy I aim to pick something that is not traditional but that equally isn't so achingly hip that nobody understands why I picked it. So I've pretty much discounted Mendellsohn and Florence and the Machine, and I'm left with everything in between. In trying to please everyone I have to stop myself descending into bland mediocrity, fighting any temptation to simply stick a pin in the Magic FM playlist and extract "Just the Way You Are" or "Groovy Kind of Love". This wedding business can be unbelievably intense. I think it's time to go and lie down in a darkened room with my iPod. Perhaps I shall find some instrumental interpretations of The Prodigy played on the panpipes. "Smack my b*tch up" on the panpipes, anyone? Somebody must have recorded that, surely?