Going Bridal

I honestly never thought I'd ever be saying this: I'm getting married! A few weeks ago there was a bit of a fuss involving a nice hotel, a shiny ring and a curry, and somehow the boyfriend became the fiance. After ten years of telling me he wasn't really interested in marriage, he surprised me by proposing and I surprised both of us by saying yes. So now we're engaged and planning to marry next year. It's all rather nice, really.

My beautiful, shiny ring had to go back to the jeweller's to be resized, so in a state of giddy excitement I went to pick it up one lunchtime, walking straight out of the shop and into the newsagent to buy a bridal magazine. I don't usually buy any magazines. I'm not very girly and I'm not really interested in celebrity gossip or fashion. I certainly haven't spent all of my thirty years dreaming of the perfect wedding dress, so why I should want a bridal magazine I don't really know. It just seemed like the right thing to do at the time. Maybe I was just blinded by the bling, somehow hypnotised by the new diamonds on my finger. Anyway, I bought it and I enjoyed reading it, especially looking at other people's real life weddings, but I couldn't quite believe the sheer amount of marketing I was exposing myself to.

There are many strange and bizarre products being churned out for the bridal market. I'm certain I can live without most of them, especially crepe paper bells in my choice of wedding colours, matching paper doves and a "lucky sixpence" garter. I've seen so many adverts for personalised serviettes that can be embossed with our names and wedding date, though, that I'm starting to think they're a good idea (much to the fiance's disgust). There's even a company that will print a photo of the happy couple onto a candle. Now I can think of a few people who'd enjoy watching us slowly melt over the course of an evening, but I don't think that we'll be inviting them to our wedding, so we're not going to be getting any of those.

Bridal beauty is another concept that I'm struggling to get a handle on. Of course I want to look nice on our big day, but I don't think I need "205 hot hair ideas". I was planning on brushing it, but that's about it. I would quite like a tiara, mind you, because when else am I going to get the chance to wear one? The fiance couldn't quite understand this, so I told him he could wear one too if he wanted. He seemed quite keen. There seems to be a lot written about perfumes, too. I really hoped to walk down the aisle without B.O., but I've not been giving a great deal of thought to creating a signature scent style for the day. As well as signature bridal scents, there are also a bewildering array of colour themes, table favours, marquees, bouquets and even wedding insurance policies to choose from. Eloping to somewhere remote and using a couple of strangers picked randomly off the street as witnesses to our wedding ceremony does look very attractive.