Matrimonial Misadventures

Last Saturday the "big day" finally arrived for my friend Wendy and her other half John, as they tied the knot in Mildenhall, Suffolk. For the boyfriend and myself, this meant a cannonball-run style drive up country that nearly culminated in us missing the ceremony. It wasn't the almighty queue for the Dartford Tunnel that caused the problem. Actually, that was a popular topic of conversation at the reception. We dealt with it by winding down the windows and belting out Verdi's "Requiem" at high volume, much to the bemusement of everyone who was crawling past us in the adjacent lanes. Missing our turnoff on the M11 was a bit more difficult to rectify.

In the end we took a long detour through Essex, turned ourselves around and got back on the right track. Somehow we found the right county and even managed to get on the appropriate A road for Mildenhall... only to find yet another queue as part of the road was closed. By now it was extremely hot. The monotony of slowly creeping forward in the blazing heat was broken only by the enthusiasm of a small child waving a stuffed dog out of the window of a people carrier to our right (that's a soft toy dog, by the way, not some freakish example of taxidermy). We passed people whose cars had overheated. Our car was fine, but we were starting to smell distinctly interesting as we sweltered and baked. Half-past two ticked on by, the wedding was scheduled to start at three, neither of us was dressed for the occasion and the deodorant was buried under mountains of stuff in the boot. We were starting to get worried.

All of a sudden the traffic started to move and we found ourselves diverted through the Suffolk countryside around the blockage. Finally we were in Mildenhall itself. At 2.45pm we were on Mildenhall High Street and the hotel was in sight. We screeched round a corner and into the car park, thinking we'd get changed in the loos. We were confronted by a phalanx of nervous-looking bridesmaids and men in matching waistcoats. Thinking better of it, we made a swift exit. We'd have to make a mad dash for the hotel where we'd arranged to stay and risk missing the exchange of vows. Luckily our hotel was only five minutes up the road. Even more luckily, they didn't seem to want to take any of our details as we checked in. They practically gave us the room key as we walked through the door. So, we sprinted up the stairs and found the room. Clothes, hairspray, deodorant (oh precious, wonderful deodorant) and shoes went everywhere as we struggled to make ourselves presentable. The boyfriend had forgotten his cufflinks. I realised that I needed to pin the top of my dress together to prevent inappropriate flashes of cleavage. Still, though, I think we got ready quicker than we ever have before. It must have been five to three or even later by the time we were back in the car, having passed another wedding party on the way out. Driving back into Mildenhall once more, we saw a ribbon-clad wedding car containing another bride and a bearded man in a layby. I was pretty sure that this was Wendy and her dad, which was a great relief. Either she'd got cold feet and decided not to go through with it, or she was exercising her bridal prerogative to be late - and either way we'd make it to the ceremony before she did!

Well, we did make it in the end and we had a great time. It was fantastic to see Wendy again, although it is very strange to see the girl that you sat next to in school and who was your childhood friend in full bridal regalia. Who'd have thought we'd actually be all grown up one day? She looked amazing and she and John are obviously very happy together, so congratulations and good luck to them. All of the effort to get there was worth it so that we could "share the love"... maybe a little even rubbed off on the boyfriend and myself, who knows?